Saturday, October 22, 2011

Scatterbrained and wanting to scatter my brains on the pavement

With anatomy and biochemistry exams looming in the not-nearly-distant-enough future, I of course was struck by an irresistable urge to divert my attention from memorizing nerve plexuses and examining embalmed canines to the more enjoyable task of providing my adoring public (all three of you) with a blog update. Unfortunately, the formalin fumes from the lab have left me with few brain cells and the many hours of studying (two counts as plural) have destroyed the capacity of those few brave survivors to piece together a coherent series of thoughts. Therefore, this entry is as disjointed as the limbs we removed from our cadavers the very first week of lab, but infinitely less icky and I hope at least slightly more enjoyable.

Days always end better when you kick them off with a smile. Things that made my mornings this week:
A man riding a unicycle, not in a "practicing for the circus" or "obscure hobby that makes his nephews giggle" way, but in a "serious cardio training, full bike-shorts and racing gear" way.
A woman jogging hard and fast with her dog ... her dachshund, that is.
An upward kitten face as I attempted a downward dog (yoga with kittens present - don't try it at home).

We made it to October 21 without getting below freezing here in St. Paul ... outside, at least. My house is another story, seeing as I have Ebeneezer Scrooge for a roommate. The following is a dramatic reenactment portrayed by trained actors:

"Sir, may we throw another log on the fire please?"
"NO! And just for asking, I'm canceling Christmas!"

As a future veterinarian, I will have to be resourceful and creative in problem-solving, so I figured I would put my ingenuity to the test. How could I keep warm without getting the cold shoulder from the miser in charge of the thermostat? I devised a few clever solutions:

After showering and blowdrying my hair, blowdry the rest of me.
Roasted vegetables every night. The bigger the veggie the better. A 10 lb squash takes an hour to bake at 400 degrees, raising the temperature of the house from the level of Satan's bedroom in the seventh circle of hell to that of the women's restroom in purgatory.
Kitten pile!!!

Seeing as I have little time remaining and even less brain power, I should probably devote both to my studies ... or to perusing pictures of lolcats online (I can at least pretend to know which ganglion is receiving nervous input that allows them to make funny faces, right? That counts as productive. I can hear you judging me through the computer, and yes, I am a horrible slacker, as indicated by the length of this final parenthetical insertion, at the end of which I will be forced to return to actual work, which is why this sentence has continued this long and may go on for quite some time; it all depends how creative I can get with punctuation, a particular specialty of mine). But alas, the clock has barked ten (why would a vet student have a clock that strikes? a barking dog clock is much more fun), and my procrastination and this entry, much like my days as a sane and functional member of society, must come to an end.

1 comment:

Mumsy said...

:) You're sense of humor is getting even dryer, if that is at all possible.